3 Questions To Answer For Others

In the realm of professional relationships and leadership, building influence is an art that revolves around understanding and responding to three fundamental questions: Do I like you? Do I trust you? And, how can you help me? In this blog post, we delve into the significance of these questions and how answering them strategically can pave the way for impactful influence.

At the heart of building influence is the human element. People are more likely to be influenced by those they genuinely like. Establishing a personal connection goes beyond shared interests or affable conversations; it's about empathy, understanding, and authenticity.

Answering the "Do I like you?" question involves showcasing your genuine self, actively listening, and finding common ground. Authenticity builds bridges, fosters rapport, and lays the foundation for a positive and lasting connection. Whether through shared experiences, where we meet with others, humor, or simply being approachable, making an effort to be likable is a crucial step in building influence.

Trust is the bedrock of influence. Without trust, any attempt to influence others is likely to fall flat. Answering the "Do I trust you?" question involves consistently demonstrating reliability, honesty, and integrity.

Leaders who prioritize transparency, deliver on promises, and admit to mistakes when they occur earn the trust of their colleagues. Trust is a delicate commodity that takes time to build and can be shattered in an instant. Therefore, leaders must be intentional about cultivating trust through their actions, decisions, and communication.

In the professional realm, influence is often intertwined with the value one brings to the table. Answering the "How can you help me?" question involves showcasing your skills, expertise, and the tangible benefits you can offer to others.

This is not about self-promotion but about understanding the needs and aspirations of those around you. By actively seeking opportunities to contribute, solve problems, and support others in their endeavors, you position yourself as a valuable resource. Influence is a reciprocal exchange, and by consistently demonstrating your ability to contribute, you solidify your position as someone worth listening to.

Building influence is a nuanced process that requires a thoughtful approach to interpersonal dynamics. By proactively answering the three key questions – Do I like you? Do I trust you? How can you help me? – individuals can cultivate meaningful connections, establish credibility, and position themselves as influential leaders.

Remember, influence is not about manipulation but about creating a positive impact. Whether you're a leader, a team member, or sales professional, taking the time to genuinely connect with others, build trust through your actions, and consistently provide value will set you on the path to becoming a person of influence in your professional sphere.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with the best customers and top employees.    How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  How can we land and keep top talent in our organization with the salary wars.  Kevin teaches your sales and leadership teams how to build the key ingredient to be successful with their relationships and take your goals to the next level with high levels of engagement.

Kevin’s website: www.kevinsidebottom.com

Kevin’s email: kevin@kevinsidebottom.com

The Sales Process Online Membership Site 

The Sales Process Uncovered Book 

How To Build Rapport In Online Meetings

How many times have you been on a meeting that people seemed to be bothered to be in?  How many times did people drive a lack of engagement and have to be asked multiple times to respond?  This is a topic that effects most people working in this world utilizing online meetings more than ever before.

Last week I talked about The Ringleman Effect of larger meetings and why it drove lack of engagement.  I ended that topic with the need to build rapport during meetings with others.   

This week we will focus on ways to gain rapport with others so that way we can gain more engagement during online meetings.

First and foremost, we need to remember that when we are hosting meetings, we are asking others to give up one of their most precious commodities.  Something they can not add, multiple, but only subtract.  It’s their time.  Time is the most precious of commodities to individuals and organizations.

We need to make sure that we are focused on others if we are going to build engagement.  To do that we need to build relationships with them.  The hot word on this topic currently is Rapport.  If you have heard me speak at any event / training you know that I believe rapport is something we should start with, but we need to go deeper with others.

That is why I do the house exercise in my trainings to help individuals take the focus off ourselves and onto the others they are engaging with. 

We can start with rapport building, but the focus is to really care about others so much so that we want to learn about them and help them.  When we do this, we will build trust and engagement.

For online meetings a good resource is “Virtual Selling” chapter 4.  I am always looking to grow my capacity and I do that even by investing in reading material from other professionals.  We are all in this together.  This book that I am reading has a great deal of ideas on how to grow rapport during online meetings. 

This book goes into the differences between 2D virtual meetings and face to face meetings.  Where we can usually have casual discussion before and after a meeting naturally in real world meetings, but on virtural meetings typically the start right into the meat of the meeting.  There is little if not zero time to have casual discussions.

It’s harder in the virtual meeting to build rapport, but there are some ways that we can do this if we pay attention to details and focus on those in the meeting.  Having smaller meeting sizes will also help us with this.  This book gives 20 questions to ask during the meeting with others to learn and grow rapport.

They also have a few rules like authenticity, similarity, and shared experiences which is similar to what we would do when meeting in person.  One thing they suggest is to ask someone to stay after for a few minutes so we can dive deeper into a comment that person made during the meeting.  Not earth shattering epiphany, but one that will gain small deposits of rapport over time.  We will also know if we have some relational collateral with them if they accept, or decline. 

Learning how to run virtual meetings and building trust and influence is going to be crucial as we go forward with this ever-changing environment.  More and more people are choosing to work remote which makes it harder to build rapport.  We can’t take them out for coffee, or a meal as often.  We can set up a quick call to share coffee online, but I would be hesitant to eat food online in front of them.  It will save them if we spit our food when we talk I guess… 

Focus on learning about people and expanding our knowledge how to build trust and influence will go a long way in growing our sales capacity in the next decade as technology makes it harder for us to meet in person.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with customers.  How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  I equip your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate explosive revenues with greater profits!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/5AF12 - Sales Process Uncovered Online Training

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training

What's The Issue?

Have you ever tried to jump a hurdle in track?  Ever done a tough mudder, or savage race that has mud and obstacles scattered all throughout the course?  These are the issues that we are facing in those two situations that are keeping us from the finish line.

A couple weeks back we talked about the situation that people are in.  That is their current state that the customer, or employee is in.  If not rectified can cause them to find a solution that may not be the best solution for them.  

Today we are going to talk about the issues.  Each person has a situation, issues, and ramifications.  The issue are the items that are affecting the situation that the customer, or employee is currently in.  What is stopping them from moving forward to the place they want to get to.  The issues are the obstacles, or the hurdles they currently see before themselves.

We as sales professionals and leaders need to understand the situation and issues of those we come in contact with.  Otherwise, we will not be able to help them get to that finish line.  If we don’t help them, they will search out the solution they think is best and likely won’t stick with us.

It is our duty to understand what the issues are for those that we come in contact with so that we can help them.  It affects our bottom line.  If we think we can just replace a customer, or team member we can, but there will be a loss of time and money involved with this decision.  This is an area that most businesses have had to focus on as they are hemorrhaging money affecting their profits.

Engagement is low when we treat customers and team members as just another cog in our machine.  We need to place value on them and focus on understanding their issues to keep them engaged.  By engaging them and showing these individuals that we care, they will open up to us.

How do we do this?  We ask questions.  Lots of good questions to understand what is going on and what are their perceived issues.  Kind of like a therapist ask questions to understand the surface level issues and then quantifying questions to go deeper to find the real issues.  If you have never been to a therapist, I recommend doing an initial session, but know that something will come up that you did not see coming 

What kind of questions should we be asking?  Sales people have been taught for years to ask only open-ended questions which are questions that cannot be answered with a yes / no answer.  I use open and closed ended questions because conversations flow with both better.  If we ask too many open-ended questions people get defensive.  Maybe that is why people cringe when they think about sitting with a therapist.

We need to uncover the issues that people are facing if we will ever be able to think about helping them.  If we just assume we know the answer then we risk making an ass our of u and me.  Yes, that was a little profanity and I apologize, but it is literally how assume is spelled 

Focus on understanding our customer and team members and we will begin to help them in the future.  

Next week we will discuss the third part of how we can help and it will help you to focus better on figuring out the correct solution.

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with customers.  How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  I equip your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate explosive revenues with greater profits!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/5AF12 - Sales Process Uncovered Online Training

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training

Influencer or Influence, What Do You Want?

Have you ever thought about how to build influence in your marketing efforts?  Have you ever thought about using an influencer to endorse your product / service to gain more customers?  

Marketing has made a shift in the past few years relying on those social marketing influencers to endorse their products / services.   Marketers believe that followers of these influencers will buy whatever that influencer has mentioned.  Unfortunately, there is a limit to this theory?

By using an influencer, we are essentially using social proof with customers.  That is the basis of gaining trust from someone else’s endorsement that others trust their recommendations.  It’s literally a exchange of trust.  This will work for commodities, but if you are offering a service, you may find it difficult to capitalize with this type of marketing.  

When it comes to influencers, they hold up products, but to show how a service works it may be difficult and take time for them to really show how it works.  When getting our marketing plans secured, we really need to understand what we are offering before we just throw money at the effort.  If we believe we have a commodity then we have already lost because a commodity is only differentiated by price.  That is why we need to make sure we have figured out how we are different from others in our same product / service demographic.

Successful organizations that have focused their efforts on customer service have secured reoccurring customers.  That’s right the customer experience is more impactful than having a super star wear our products.  We need to focus on building customer service and trust with our current customers and yes this takes time.  We live in an era with two-day shipping, moves on demand, and grocery shopping online world, but the one true way to gain reoccurring customers is to serve them consistently over time.  

Ever try to get a chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A at lunch or dinner?  It’s a chicken sandwich, not a new cure for cancer, but because they have focused on customer service over time, they have passed up the other fast food competition with fewer locations.  That’s right the golden arches which have been a staple were passed by Chick-Fil-A.  Their customer service has accomplished this cult following.

We need to focus on the long-term vision of building trust with our customers.  Without trust we will not gain influence with our customers.  We need to have high levels of trust with our customers before they will tell their closets friends and family members to use us.  That is also still the best form of referral.  I am also not talking about bribing the customers with a coupon if they share with others.  

I am talking about natural raving customers that can’t help but tell others to do business with you.We need to serve our customers well consistently if we are going to having reoccurring customers and eventually partners that will only buy from us and all that we sell.  Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to market because our customers are buying everything we sell and partner with us?  

That is why I consistently post blogs every week for over three years and consistently post videos online to help customers gain more knowledge and understanding about sales and influence.  I am here as a guide to help you become successful in your endeavors. 

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

Why Leaders Need CIA For Building Influence

When Leaders set out to lead a group of individuals, some fall short.  It’s not because these leaders are incompetent.  It’s mainly because they don’t understand how to build influence.

John Maxwell who is the leadership guru of the 21st century has a quote that states “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less...”  If we want to lead others, we need to know how to build influence.  That is where the sales process uncovered comes in.  By applying the principals, people are able to grow influence with others. 

When we are working with others, we need influence in order to move forward with them.  We start by learning about them, their families, their hobbies, etc.  This is the same as building rapport in the sales process.  Unfortunately, rapport is only the beginning of building influence and not the end all. 

Just having rapport gets us in the door to have a conversation, but Influence is a deeper relationship with that individual.  Influence is building up relational collateral like a bank account.  It takes time to high levels of influence in order to get the person jumping all in with us.

When we start taking a deep interest in other people, we will start gaining influence with them.  That person will start to open up in areas that they feel they can share as well as ask for input. 

I use the 3 letters when trying to learn more about others to build influence.  The letters are C.I.A.  No, not the government agency. 

C-stands for being curious.  Be curious like a child that never stops wanting to know more.  Be curious to learn more about our relationships whether they are customers, teammates, family, friends, people we just met, etc.  Be curious to learn about them as much as we can.  People love to talk about themselves and are craving that connection.

I-stands for being intentional.  Be intentional about our relationships.  While we are asking questions do not stare at a phone while the other person responds.  Look them in the eyes and pay attention to what they are saying and how they are saying it.  We’ll learn a lot about a person when we pay attention to their posture, their tones, their words.  Even when someone is saying they are fine… if their tone sounds like they are about to scream, they are not fine.  Pay attention and see if there is a way we can help.

A-stands for asking questions.  Ask a great deal of questions.  This being paired up with curiosity and being intentional helps us really learn about the relationships.  What is really going on with our teammates, our customers, our family members?  Similar to the sales process where we do a needs analysis in my book “The Sales Process Uncovered”, we will ask questions to see if there is a way we can help the person get to where they want to go.  People of great influence are not those that take from people, but are people that give as much as they can without expecting anything in return.  That can be time, money, clothing, etc.  Dale Carnegie, Mother Teresa, Jesus Christ are all people of great influence.  These people started most of their conversations with questions.  These individuals wanted to learn about the situation and where they could help.  They stepped in.

For today, focus on using C.I.A. when you interact with people you come in contact with.  Not for the sole purpose of gaining influence, but for connection and stronger relationships.

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com