How To Build Rapport

Having rapport with others is crucial if we are going to move forward together.  We need engagement and that begins with rapport.  If we don’t have any kind of relational collateral, then we will not be able to ask people to walk with us on a adventure.

First and foremost, we need to remember that when we are hosting meetings, we are asking others to give up one of their most precious commodities.  Something they can not add, multiple, but only subtract.  It’s their time.  Time is the most precious of commodities to individuals and organizations.

We need to make sure that we are focused on others if we are going to build engagement.  To do that we need to build relationships with them.  The hot word on this topic currently is Rapport.  If you have heard me speak at any event / training you know that I believe rapport is something we should start with, but we need to go deeper with others.

That is why I do the house exercise in my trainings to help individuals take the focus off ourselves and onto the others they are engaging with. 

Now it is hard to build rapport with people at first because most people are guarded.  We need to make extra efforts to build that exchange.  We can do a few things prior to meeting with the individuals.

Social Investigating – we can look up their social profiles to learn a little bit about them prior to meeting with these individuals the next time.  What are their hobbies, what does their family situation look like, what are their interests, etc.  Do they post about certain topics that resonate with us?  Where can we find common ground?

CRM – keep a customer relationship management tool in use when learning about people.  The more we learn the more we can relate.  If they say something in a meeting, or talk about their weekend experience in passing, write it down.  We can’t remember everything especially as we get older, but we can review our crm profile prior to meeting with the individual again.

Social Proof – This phenomenon is really effective in growing trust fast.  Basically, it is having someone that we know and have a good relationship with that knows the person that we are trying to gain trust and influence with introduce us.  The mutual person is actually allowing us to have levels of trust immediately with the new person.  Some call it the Oprah Effect that when someone was on Oprah’s show they immediately were known as someone of trust and an authority in their field.  It was overnight that these people had authority. 

These are a few ideas, but the main topic is taking the focus off ourselves and our needs and turn the focus on others.  When we do that, we will grow levels of trust and engagement with others.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with customers.  How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  I equip your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate explosive revenues with greater profits!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/5AF12 - Sales Process Uncovered Online Training

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training

How To Build Rapport In Online Meetings

How many times have you been on a meeting that people seemed to be bothered to be in?  How many times did people drive a lack of engagement and have to be asked multiple times to respond?  This is a topic that effects most people working in this world utilizing online meetings more than ever before.

Last week I talked about The Ringleman Effect of larger meetings and why it drove lack of engagement.  I ended that topic with the need to build rapport during meetings with others.   

This week we will focus on ways to gain rapport with others so that way we can gain more engagement during online meetings.

First and foremost, we need to remember that when we are hosting meetings, we are asking others to give up one of their most precious commodities.  Something they can not add, multiple, but only subtract.  It’s their time.  Time is the most precious of commodities to individuals and organizations.

We need to make sure that we are focused on others if we are going to build engagement.  To do that we need to build relationships with them.  The hot word on this topic currently is Rapport.  If you have heard me speak at any event / training you know that I believe rapport is something we should start with, but we need to go deeper with others.

That is why I do the house exercise in my trainings to help individuals take the focus off ourselves and onto the others they are engaging with. 

We can start with rapport building, but the focus is to really care about others so much so that we want to learn about them and help them.  When we do this, we will build trust and engagement.

For online meetings a good resource is “Virtual Selling” chapter 4.  I am always looking to grow my capacity and I do that even by investing in reading material from other professionals.  We are all in this together.  This book that I am reading has a great deal of ideas on how to grow rapport during online meetings. 

This book goes into the differences between 2D virtual meetings and face to face meetings.  Where we can usually have casual discussion before and after a meeting naturally in real world meetings, but on virtural meetings typically the start right into the meat of the meeting.  There is little if not zero time to have casual discussions.

It’s harder in the virtual meeting to build rapport, but there are some ways that we can do this if we pay attention to details and focus on those in the meeting.  Having smaller meeting sizes will also help us with this.  This book gives 20 questions to ask during the meeting with others to learn and grow rapport.

They also have a few rules like authenticity, similarity, and shared experiences which is similar to what we would do when meeting in person.  One thing they suggest is to ask someone to stay after for a few minutes so we can dive deeper into a comment that person made during the meeting.  Not earth shattering epiphany, but one that will gain small deposits of rapport over time.  We will also know if we have some relational collateral with them if they accept, or decline. 

Learning how to run virtual meetings and building trust and influence is going to be crucial as we go forward with this ever-changing environment.  More and more people are choosing to work remote which makes it harder to build rapport.  We can’t take them out for coffee, or a meal as often.  We can set up a quick call to share coffee online, but I would be hesitant to eat food online in front of them.  It will save them if we spit our food when we talk I guess… 

Focus on learning about people and expanding our knowledge how to build trust and influence will go a long way in growing our sales capacity in the next decade as technology makes it harder for us to meet in person.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with customers.  How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  I equip your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate explosive revenues with greater profits!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/5AF12 - Sales Process Uncovered Online Training

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training

Making Great First Impressions

Hello Everyone!

Ever wonder why some people just seem to be able to make great impressions on others while others don’t?  Ever struggle to make a great first impression yourself?

I have been thinking about this topic for a while now and decided that it was time to step up on my soap box.  I firmly believe that we all need to know how to sell in order to make great first impressions.  Whether we are going for a job interview (selling ourselves), out on a date (selling ourselves), leading an organization (selling vision and ourselves), or selling a product or service which means we need to know how to sell (ourselves), etc. 

No matter what we are doing, we are selling ourselves as the best option for those around us.  We share stories, build friendships, engage with coworkers etc. all of the time.  Some people do this really well and some unfortunately do not.  This is not simply determined if you are an introvert, or an extrovert to determine if you will do this well.  What I am saying is that some just don’t sell themselves well enough.

There are three questions everyone asks at every interaction and they are as follows:

Do I like you? 

Do I trust you? 

How can you help me?

In seven seconds, a perception is formed about the other person based off these three questions.  Now there are so many aspects to how one can affect those three questions, that it is key that we know how to sell and why these three questions are affected.  Learning the sales process if even just for only buying decision 1, we are definitely on solid footing to move forward with other people.

How we are dressed, what environment we are in, our posture, our speech patterns, and many more aspects affect how people form their decisions about us.  Have you ever heard the phrase. “we only get one chance to make a first impression?”   This is because once someone makes that impression about us, it is extremely hard to change.    

The sales process is the key to mastering the art of first impressions, building rapport, and likeability.  Once we master the first buying decision of the sales process, we can build rapport with those around us faster!  This will enable us to make great first impressions, obtain engagement from those around us, and create stronger relationships.

Wouldn’t it be nice to know how to sell and build relationships to make our lives better?

If you’d like to learn the sales process and how to gain influence, I have launched my online courses.  It will enable you to master sales, implement the simple to use process, and become a top performer as well as how to build great levels of trust quickly.

Below are the two links to my online trainings to help you build rapport and influence with others. Both can be completed at your own pace and in the comfort of wherever you have a an internet connection.

The Sales Process Uncovered

Trustworthy

Have a great week!

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

Want Influence? Focus On Rapport

Have you ever wondered why people just ignore your request? 

Ever have someone work for you that consistently looks and acts disengaged until you pressure them for your request again? 

Would you like to have people that are engaged?  I think most of us would say yes to that right?

When I teach people about building greater levels of engagement and influence with those around them, I have to remind most of the people that it all starts with us.  That is right if we don’t focus on building rapport then we shouldn’t expect others to step up?  See people want to feel valued and by us investing into them, they will feel valued.

Whether we are coaching, are a boss, sitting with a client, interviewing, or anytime we encounter another person, we need to be able to build rapport quickly. People form their first impressions of others in less than 60 seconds. Two questions “Do I like you? and Do I trust you?” are answered in that 60 seconds.  If we want influence, then we need to be able to answer those two questions quickly.  That is why we need to have rapport.

People also associate with others that they know, like, and trust.  I have even heard of people being hired because they were more relatable even though they were not the most qualified.  Isn’t that interesting.  Rapport building is an essential skill to have if we are going to interact with other people.  Especially if we want to grow influence with those people.

So how do we build rapport?

Here are four ways that I build rapport with others:

Be Helpful

Be willing to help others with whatever I am capable to help with.  Go the extra mile to help others even when we think we have done enough.  One step further...  It could be jumping in to help unload something that the person we are meeting with is trying to unload from a truck without trying to get something from them in return.  It could also be helping sweep up a mess that has happened for the customer while they are trying to fill an order, or sending follow up note to the person that the task was completed for them by our organization.  Being genuine and helpful will go a long way at building rapport with people.  Not trying to leverage the interaction with others.

Be Intentional Curious

By being intentional curious I mean valuing others that you’d like to learn about them.  This can be done by researching others on social media such as Linkedin, Facebook, local associations they are affiliated with, google etc.  Being intentional to learn about those people and their interests are very impactful.  Not just to gain leverage, but to be intentionally curious about them and hear them. 

Be Respectful

People want to feel valued and that they are important.  Why not make them feel that way?  Let them know that we have their back and are willing to do the work with them.  Call them sir or ma’am shows respect.  Using their name (sweetest sound to any person is their own name), using our manners, asking them questions.  By being respectful we are showing respect and who doesn’t like some R.E.S.P.E.C.T.?

Be Enthusiastic

Show some enthusiasm with the person we are talking to.  Use humor, make them feel comfortable, and lower the anxiety.  People that smile and make people laugh are far more enjoyable.  These people build rapport more so than someone who walks around like the Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore that moped around and never showed excitement.  People like to be around light hearted and fun people.  Show some enthusiasm and energy.  People gravitate towards others that are full of energy.

There you have it, think of H.I.R.E. when you are looking to build rapport.  Focus on others and help them get to where they way to go, be respectful and be enthusiastic in order to build rapport.  We want the person to like us so much that they can’t think of anyone else they would rather talk to for our subject matter.

If you are interested in building more influence follow click here to my course and I will guide you in the principals on how to answer the three questions that everyone asks at each interaction. 

Have a great day.

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

Do You Like Me?

Good morning everyone.  Last week we discussed the three questions that employees ask when the meet with us on every interaction.  If you missed it click here to catch up.

The first question that we ask ourselves subconsciously when we interact with another person is “Do I like you?”  Our brains are trying to figure out if this person standing in front of us is a threat or a potential ally.  Should we stay, or run…

Physically our bodies will change posture depending on how this question is answered.  Our posture will literally change as much as leaning in to leaning back depending on engagement and trust.  This is why sales professionals have been taught to always mirror our customer’s posture during meetings.

Did you know that depending on if you are male or female you tend to want to stand in different postures when interacting?  Women prefer to stand at 90 degree angles to men when they are interacting in the personal space.  They naturally want to keep a guard up to not feel vulnerable.  Men typically like to stand face to face total body facing their counterpart.

Are you starting to see how this might be a problem getting someone to like you if you do something small like use the incorrect stance?

Here is something else that will impact the way someone answers that question.  The colors clothing we wear can also impact how we are judged.  That’s right the color we wear actually has an impact on how others perceive us.  We could start the discussion off on the wrong foot just by color.  In Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence” he breaks down the colors and what they mean.  It is a must read if you are working to sales! To make it easier for you, I tend to wear light blue and white shirts when I meet someone for the first time because those colors are associated with “Trust.”  They are also calming colors.  I want the customer calm and feeling like I am a trustworthy advocate for them.

I make sure to wear the right color tones for the meeting that I am about to have.  The reason is I need the customer to feel at ease while meeting with me.  They will be more relaxed and willing to hear me while we are discussing a topic.  I also pay close attention to their posture as what I have learned is that 93%  of communication is actually non-verbal.

Here are some other factors that can affect the first impression:

Scents we wear, voice tonality, pace of speech, jewelry, etc. 

The old saying we only get one chance to make a first impression still is true today.  Making sure we are paying attention to the person in front of us will help us greatly generate trust.

Have a great day!  Next week will jump into the second question we need to answer.

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

Proximity, How It Will Help You Win with Customers

Have you ever noticed how you react when you are in a crowded space in comparison to walking in a nearly empty mall? 

Have you ever felt uncomfortable with others crowding your space?

There is this principal that depending how close you are to others the more trust is needed.  It is called Proximecs.  This principal basically defines why at different proximity with others we need different levels of trust.  The closer we are to another person the more trust we must have, or we will become uneasy.  There is a reason why stadiums sell out so easily for sporting events, coffee shops have people littered all over working on their Macbooks, and why people will wait for hours on hot summer days in lines for the best roller coasters striking up conversations with strangers.

 The distances breakdown like this:

Public Distance – 12.1’ +

Social Distance – 4.1’- 12’

Personal Distance 1.6’- 4’

Intimate Distance < 1.5’

The most fun and engaging interactions in our lives occur in social and personal distances.  The closer we get to others the more powerful the emotion can be shared during thrilling experiences.  Ever had an experience at a sporting event where you were slapping hands with some unknown individuals celebrating a score seemingly without thought about if they washed their hands or not?  We are wired to have more emotional significance to others we are in close proximity to.  Our bodies actually crave this connection to be understood and these interactions are a way to make that connection.

When working with customers it is extremely hard for us to get in front of them with emails, literature, billboards, etc.  We need to get in touch with them on a closer level.  This means sales professionals need to be in front of customers often.  This is also why deeper relationships are made outside of the office i.e. golfing, sporting events, hands on training, etc.  There isn’t a barrier between us and the customer like that of a desk, or board room table.  Their guard is lowered and in most cases are more willing to share more details that will enable you to help serve them. 

Now that we are in close proximities with the customer and trust is psychologically given as we are in close proximity, deeper discussions can happen and relationships formed.  Have you ever had a customer out at lunch share some deep dark secret about the organization just to vent?

Work at meeting with the customer if you want to gain more business with your customers. 

Warning!

Keep in mind that the intimate level should be those you should be giving intimate affection to like that of family and spouses.  Doing that with customers is just awkward outside of a casual hug when a bond has been made to wish each other well before, or after a meeting.

P.S. the picture associated with this blog will help you understand visually the distances a little better.

Have a great week!

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

www.kevinsidebottom.com