How To Build A Better Relationship

In the intricate dance of human connections, building meaningful relationships isn't just about exchanging pleasantries—it's about answering three fundamental questions: Do I like you? Do I trust you? How can you help me? By addressing these queries with sincerity and empathy, we can lay the groundwork for stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Let's explore how to cultivate better connections by focusing on building trust and helping others succeed.

The first question we subconsciously ask when meeting someone new is, "Do I like you?" Likability is often based on shared interests, values, and personality traits. To foster likability in our relationships, it's essential to be genuine, empathetic, and approachable. Show genuine interest in others, listen attentively, and find common ground to bond over. By fostering a sense of connection and rapport, we create a solid foundation for building stronger, more authentic relationships.

Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship. It's built over time through consistency, reliability, and integrity. To earn trust, it's crucial to keep our word, follow through on commitments, and demonstrate honesty and transparency in our actions. Act with integrity, admit mistakes, and prioritize open communication. By consistently demonstrating trustworthiness, we foster a sense of security and confidence in our relationships, laying the groundwork for deeper connections and collaboration.

In any relationship, there's an implicit exchange of value. People want to know, "How can you help me?" To strengthen relationships, it's essential to understand others' needs, challenges, and aspirations. Be proactive in offering support, guidance, and resources to help “Be the Hero Of Their Story.” Celebrate their successes and be a source of encouragement and inspiration. By demonstrating genuine care and support, we create a culture of reciprocity and mutual assistance, strengthening bonds and fostering a sense of community.

Building trust and helping others win go hand in hand. Trust is earned through actions that demonstrate reliability, honesty, and integrity. By consistently acting in trustworthy ways, we create a foundation of trust that forms the basis of strong relationships. Additionally, by actively supporting others and helping them achieve success, we reinforce trust and deepen connections. When we prioritize others' success and well-being, we foster a collaborative environment where everyone can thrive and succeed together.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with the best customers and top employees.    How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  How can we land and keep top talent in our organization with the salary wars.  Kevin teaches your sales and leadership teams how to build the key ingredient to be successful with their relationships and take your goals to the next level with high levels of engagement.

Kevin’s website: www.kevinsidebottom.com

Kevin’s email: kevin@kevinsidebottom.com

The Sales Process Online Membership Site 

The Sales Process Uncovered Book 

Building A Solid Foundation For Relationships

In the vast landscape of relationships, whether personal or professional, the bedrock of any enduring connection is built on two powerhouse principles: trust and consistency. In this blog post, we're diving into the art of crafting unshakeable foundations with anyone you meet. Buckle up, because it's time to unleash the dynamic duo that transforms fleeting interactions into bonds that withstand the test of time!

Trust

Trust isn't just a virtue; it's the currency that fuels every meaningful relationship. Want to build a foundation that can weather any storm? Start by earning and giving trust. Be honest, be reliable, and above all, be authentic. People can smell a fake from a mile away, so drop the masks and let trust be the anchor that grounds your connection.

Consistency

Consistency isn't about grand gestures; it's about the small acts that add up over time. Whether it's remembering someone's birthday, offering a helping hand, or simply being a reliable presence, these small acts of consistency compound to create a robust foundation that withstands the tests of time.

Trust and consistency thrive in an environment of open communication. Be willing to share your thoughts, feelings, and expectations, and encourage others to do the same. Communication isn't just about words; it's about creating a space where everyone feels heard and understood. Break down the walls, and watch trust blossom.

We're all human, and humans make mistakes. When you inevitably stumble, embrace humility. Admitting your mistakes and taking responsibility shows integrity and builds trust faster than any flawless facade ever could. It's not about being perfect; it's about being real.

Building trust and consistency takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are enduring relationships. Be patient, invest the time, and let the foundation strengthen organically. Rushing the process can lead to cracks, so savor the journey of connection-building.

When it comes to relationships, trust and consistency are your dynamic duo. They are the architects of foundations that withstand the storms that come. Whether you're forging a new connection or reinforcing an existing one, remember that trust is earned, consistency is key, and the journey is as important as the destination. So, go ahead, build those unshakeable connections – because when trust and consistency join forces, you're not just building relationships; you're crafting a legacy.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with the best customers and top employees.    How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  How can we land and keep top talent in our organization with the salary wars.  Kevin teaches your sales and leadership teams how to build the key ingredient to be successful with their relationships and take your goals to the next level with high levels of engagement.

Kevin’s website: www.kevinsidebottom.com

Kevin’s email: kevin@kevinsidebottom.com

The Sales Process Online Membership Site 

The Sales Process Uncovered Book 

How To Build Work Relationships

Today with remote workers, the workforce changing over in record numbers, and engagement extremely low, we need to learn how to build networks in our own companies.  Different parts of the organization are located all over the world.  We need to know and build relationships with other parts of our organization while we are not able to do that face to face. 

How do we as managers of new individuals, new employees, new teammates grow relationships with others inside of the organization.  It’s complicated, and will take time, but it can be done if we are intentional about it.

This is the time that we have to put on the sales hat and think about how we grow influence and trust with others.  That is right, we need to think like sales professionals.  No not an evil sales person that does not care about customers and just cares about golf and selling products.  The good sales professional is the one that cares about understanding those they interact with.  They want to serve those they interact with so that they can move forward.

These sales professionals actually focus on the relationship and how they will be able to help their customers win and be the Hero of their own story.  That is the type of hat I am saying we need to wear.

The first part in building relationships is to learn and understand the individual that we are coming in contact with.  We want them to understand that they are heard and known.  We do not want to treat them as a commodity, but as an individual.  Someone that matters.

That’s what we all want right?  We want to know that we are known, heard, and that we matter.

We need to focus on others in the same way.  We have needs, but we really need to work for them an serve them if we want to obtain our better way forward.  We need to take the focus off ourselves and focus on learning about them. 

See the others we work with have situations, issues, and ramifications that if not fixed will result in poor performance, disengagement, apathy, and likely them leaving for another job.  If we can create a culture of helping each other and learning about each other.

When others know that we are not just trying to use them then we will build trust and out of that we get relationships.  That is right we build trust and relationships when we build influence with others.  Businesses move on trust and we need this if we are going to build relationships. 

Today in business we need to make sure that we are going out of our way to build relationships if we are going to move forward in business. If we do this, that we will have a better quality of life as well as success in business.

Focus on putting on that sales hat and building relationships and so we can succeed with others. 

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with customers.  How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  I equip your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate explosive revenues with greater profits!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book

The Sales Process Uncovered Membership Page

The First Question to Ask

Good morning everyone.  Last week we discussed the three questions that customers ask when the meet with us on every interaction.  If you missed it go back and read it as it will help you with this week’s post. it only takes three minutes to read.

The first question that we ask ourselves subconsciously when we interact with another person is “Do I like you?”  Our brains are trying to figure out if this person standing in front of us is a threat or a potential ally.  Should we stay, or run like…

Physically our bodies will change posture depending on how this question is answered.  Our posture will literally change as much as leaning in to leaning back depending on engagement and trust.  This is why sales professionals have been taught to always mirror your customer’s posture.

Did you know that depending on if you are male or female you tend to want to stand in different postures when interacting?  Women prefer to stand at 90 degree angles to men when they are interacting in the personal space.  They naturally want to keep a guard up to not feel vulnerable.  Men typically like to stand face to face total body facing their counterpart.

Are you starting to see how this might be a problem getting someone to like you if you do something small like use the incorrect stance?

Here is something else that will impact the way someone answers that question.  The color you wear on your clothing can also impact how you are judged.  That’s right the color we wear actually has an impact on how others perceive us.  We could start the discussion off on the wrong foot just by color.  In Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence” he breaks down the colors and what they mean.  It is a must read if you are working to sales! To make it easier for you, I tend to wear light blue and white shirts when I meet someone for the first time because those colors are associated with “Trust.”  They are also calming colors.  I want the customer calm and feeling like I am a trustworthy advocate for them.

I make sure to wear the right color tones for the meeting that I am about to have.  The reason is I need the customer to feel at ease while meeting with me.  They will be more relaxed and willing to hear me while we are discussing a topic.  I also pay close attention to their posture as what I have learned is that 93%  of communication is actually non-verbal.

Here are some other factors that can affect the first impression:

Scents you wear, voice tonality, pace of speech, jewelry, etc. 

The old saying you only get one chance to make a first impression still is true today.  Making sure we are paying attention to the person standing in front of us will help us greatly generate trust.

Have a great week!

“Businesses wonder why it is still hard to be thought of as the brand of choice with customers.  How can our business make more profitable transactions and stay out of the commodity battle with low profits?  I equip your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate explosive revenues with greater profits!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/5AF12 - Sales Process Uncovered Online Training

https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training

You Need The R in Trust

Ever have someone tell you they will do something for you and they don’t follow through?  Ever been that person that says they will be somewhere at a certain time and you forget?  These types of situations actually affect trust.  It’s when we don’t do what we say we are going to do that trust actually decreases.

Today, let’s talk about the second variable in the trust equation, Reliability.  How reliable are you?  When you say you’ll do something will you do it?  Will you do it to the best of your ability?  Do you forget to do it?  Will you do the right thing when no one is looking?   Do you think it is that big of a deal to be reliable?

It's a BIG DEAL!!!  Trust is won or lost by our actions, not just our words. 

I remember when I was younger, my father telling me to always do what you say you are going to do.  Do not waiver.  He also stated to do the right thing if everyone is watching and when no one is watching.  Don’t tell me, show me is the slogan I have heard all my life from my father.

I remember when I first met my wife’s parents.  We were up at their cottage grilling steaks and I was assisting my future father-in-law.  I told him that I usually every spring season the grill grates after the first steaks have been cooked by applying foil to the top of the grates and turning the heat up high while I ate and then it would bake in all the flavor.

What I didn’t know is that his grill grates on his expensive grill were actually anodized aluminum and not steel… 

Did you know when you crank up the heat and use foil that reflects the heat back into the grates that are anodized aluminum, they actually can’t take that much heat and melt and then break in half?  Yep, it was an awesome first time meeting them let me tell you… 

I told him that I would replace them even though my future father-in-law said don’t worry about it.  The next day I was on the phone with the grill manufacturer ordering the new grates.  I was originally going to order just two, but they informed me that they had two different sizes in that grill…. so, I ordered a complete set.  Did you know that anodized aluminum grates cost more than any grill I have ever bought?  Yep that’s right almost $300 for grates.

That weekend was the most expensive steak dinner I have ever had, but by doing the right thing and doing what I said I was going to do our relationship has grown and he has put a great deal of trust in me.  He knows that if I say I will do something that I will get it done. 

When we interact with our teams, customers, family, or friends we need to make it a constant effort to be reliable.  Without being reliable it is almost impossible to have a trusting relationship.  Especially when we are first getting to know others.

Here are a few things I do to make sure I follow through:

List it and do it – As you can see from the picture of this blog, I love to utilize post-it notes for my action items.  I will literally list out something I need to do and stick it to my wallet when I leave so I do not forget what I set out to do.  Some people use an app, but I am low tech.  A side note is that when people cross things off list they feel good and empowered.  If you are someone that keeps forgetting to do things, then maybe making a list and keeping it with you as a reminder might be a good tool.

Action It – I am bombarded with requests regularly and if I set something to the side I tend to forget about it, so I make sure I do it right away if I can.  CEO’s have utilized this method of acting right away of forgetting it.  Emails are a way they sort through action items to either take action right away, or throw it in the recycle bin.

Delegate it – If you are unable to do something and someone else is better equipped to handle the item then delegate it.  John Maxwell has endorsed this idea of delegate to elevate.  My wife and I set up weekly meetings to look at things that need to be done and delegate things that each other can do.  It allows us to work more efficiently, communicate effectively, and flow in our strengths.

L.A.D. are three helpful options that I we can all utilize to make sure we are reliable.

Is there a time that pops in the back of your mind where someone else has fallen short being reliable?  How did it make you feel?  Did you lose a little trust in that person? 

I know I will fall short sometimes, but I make it my best effort to do what I say I am going to do and if I am going to come in short, I communicate the situation and try to better the situation to the best of my ability.  We need trust in order to keep moving forward with others.  We need to focus on how we can make sure we are doing what we say we will do and apologize to anyone that we may have fallen short with. 

Being reliable is essential in building trust.

Have a great day!

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

Proximity, How It Will Help You Win with Customers

Have you ever noticed how you react when you are in a crowded space in comparison to walking in a nearly empty mall? 

Have you ever felt uncomfortable with others crowding your space?

There is this principal that depending how close you are to others the more trust is needed.  It is called Proximecs.  This principal basically defines why at different proximity with others we need different levels of trust.  The closer we are to another person the more trust we must have, or we will become uneasy.  There is a reason why stadiums sell out so easily for sporting events, coffee shops have people littered all over working on their Macbooks, and why people will wait for hours on hot summer days in lines for the best roller coasters striking up conversations with strangers.

 The distances breakdown like this:

Public Distance – 12.1’ +

Social Distance – 4.1’- 12’

Personal Distance 1.6’- 4’

Intimate Distance < 1.5’

The most fun and engaging interactions in our lives occur in social and personal distances.  The closer we get to others the more powerful the emotion can be shared during thrilling experiences.  Ever had an experience at a sporting event where you were slapping hands with some unknown individuals celebrating a score seemingly without thought about if they washed their hands or not?  We are wired to have more emotional significance to others we are in close proximity to.  Our bodies actually crave this connection to be understood and these interactions are a way to make that connection.

When working with customers it is extremely hard for us to get in front of them with emails, literature, billboards, etc.  We need to get in touch with them on a closer level.  This means sales professionals need to be in front of customers often.  This is also why deeper relationships are made outside of the office i.e. golfing, sporting events, hands on training, etc.  There isn’t a barrier between us and the customer like that of a desk, or board room table.  Their guard is lowered and in most cases are more willing to share more details that will enable you to help serve them. 

Now that we are in close proximities with the customer and trust is psychologically given as we are in close proximity, deeper discussions can happen and relationships formed.  Have you ever had a customer out at lunch share some deep dark secret about the organization just to vent?

Work at meeting with the customer if you want to gain more business with your customers. 

Warning!

Keep in mind that the intimate level should be those you should be giving intimate affection to like that of family and spouses.  Doing that with customers is just awkward outside of a casual hug when a bond has been made to wish each other well before, or after a meeting.

P.S. the picture associated with this blog will help you understand visually the distances a little better.

Have a great week!

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

www.kevinsidebottom.com