Rapport Is The Building Block For Influence
I was reflecting the other day on building rapport with others which is essential in building influence with others. Building rapport is especially important during this time with the pandemic keeping all of us separated.
Whether we are a coach, meeting with a client, or are taking part in an interview we need to be able to build rapport quickly. We form our first impressions of others in less than 60 seconds. These two questions “Do I like you? and Do I trust you?,” are answered in that 60 seconds. If you want influence, then you need to be able to build rapport.
People also associate with others that they know, like, and trust. I have even heard of people being hired because they were more relatable even though they were not the most qualified. Isn’t that interesting. Rapport building is an essential skill to have if we are going to interact with other people.
So how do we build rapport?
Here are four ways that I build rapport with others:
Be Helpful
Be willing to help them with whatever they need help with. Go the extra mile to help others even when we think we have done enough. One step further... It could be helping a child with an assignment on the football field going through the play with them one on one and then helping them step through the steps in that process. It could be jumping in to help unload something that the person we are meeting with is trying to unload from a truck without trying to get something from them in return. It could also be helping sweep up a mess that has happened for the customer while they are trying to fill an order, or sending follow up note to the person that the task was completed for them by your organization. Being genuine and helpful will go a long way at building rapport with people.
Be Intentional
By being intentional I mean really look to find common ground with those people we are interacting with. This can be researching them on social media such as Linkedin, Facebook, local associations they are affiliated with, google etc. Being intentional to learn about those people and their interests are very impactful. Not just to gain a sale, but to be intentionally curious about them and hear them.
Be Respectful
People want to feel valued and that they are important. Why not make them feel that way? Let them know that we have their back and are willing to do the work with them. Call them sir or ma’am when they are older than us is a good way to show respect. Using their name (sweetest sound to any person is their own name), using our manners, asking them questions. By being respectful we are showing respect and who doesn’t like some R.E.S.P.E.C.T.?
Be Enthusiastic
Show some enthusiasm with the person we are talking to. Use humor, make them feel comfortable, and lower the tension. People that smile and make people laugh are far more enjoyable. These people build rapport more so than someone who walks around like the Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore that moped around and never showed excitement. People like to be around light hearted and fun people. Show some enthusiasm and energy. People gravitate towards others that are full of energy.
There you have it, think of H.I.R.E. when you are looking to build rapport. Focus on others and help them get to where they way to go, be respectful and be enthusiastic in order to build rapport. We want the person to like us so much that they can’t think of anyone else they would rather talk to for our subject matter.
If you are interested in building more influence click the image below and you will be taken to my course. I will guide you in the principals on how to answer the three questions that everyone asks at each interaction.
Have a great weekend.
Sincerely,
Kevin Sidebottom
“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business. I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”
Proximity, How It Will Help You Win with Customers
Have you ever noticed how you react when you are in a crowded space in comparison to walking in a nearly empty mall?
Have you ever felt uncomfortable with others crowding your space?
There is this principal that depending how close you are to others the more trust is needed. It is called Proximecs. This principal basically defines why at different proximity with others we need different levels of trust. The closer we are to another person the more trust we must have, or we will become uneasy. There is a reason why stadiums sell out so easily for sporting events, coffee shops have people littered all over working on their Macbooks, and why people will wait for hours on hot summer days in lines for the best roller coasters striking up conversations with strangers.
The distances breakdown like this:
Public Distance – 12.1’ +
Social Distance – 4.1’- 12’
Personal Distance 1.6’- 4’
Intimate Distance < 1.5’
The most fun and engaging interactions in our lives occur in social and personal distances. The closer we get to others the more powerful the emotion can be shared during thrilling experiences. Ever had an experience at a sporting event where you were slapping hands with some unknown individuals celebrating a score seemingly without thought about if they washed their hands or not? We are wired to have more emotional significance to others we are in close proximity to. Our bodies actually crave this connection to be understood and these interactions are a way to make that connection.
When working with customers it is extremely hard for us to get in front of them with emails, literature, billboards, etc. We need to get in touch with them on a closer level. This means sales professionals need to be in front of customers often. This is also why deeper relationships are made outside of the office i.e. golfing, sporting events, hands on training, etc. There isn’t a barrier between us and the customer like that of a desk, or board room table. Their guard is lowered and in most cases are more willing to share more details that will enable you to help serve them.
Now that we are in close proximities with the customer and trust is psychologically given as we are in close proximity, deeper discussions can happen and relationships formed. Have you ever had a customer out at lunch share some deep dark secret about the organization just to vent?
Work at meeting with the customer if you want to gain more business with your customers.
Warning!
Keep in mind that the intimate level should be those you should be giving intimate affection to like that of family and spouses. Doing that with customers is just awkward outside of a casual hug when a bond has been made to wish each other well before, or after a meeting.
P.S. the picture associated with this blog will help you understand visually the distances a little better.
Have a great week!
Sincerely,
Kevin Sidebottom