Good morning,
We have come to the most important variable when discussing trust. It’s in the denominator of the equation as well. This means that the larger this value the more it pulls down the other variables in the numerator.
We can be very creditable, reliable, and vulnerable, but if we are only doing this to help ourselves “WIN” we will actually “LOSE”. We will not be able to gain trust and sustain it if we are only out for our own gain. True we may be able to fake our selfishness for a little while to obtain short term gains, but trust is a long-term play. People will figure it out fast enough as selfishness is like a spotlight shining bright into the night sky. There is no way to truly cover it.
Selfishness tells people that we do not value them and do not care about them. Have you ever been around someone that you tried to give more and more trust and it just seemed to blow up in your face each and every time? It is really hard to keep wanting to extend them the benefit of doubt. After a while trust is just not an option anymore.
I had to come to this realization with someone that I have bent over backwards to help on quite a few occasions. Each time resulted in being taken advantage of due to their selfishness. I am very helpful by nature and want to help people from hitting some of the pitfalls that I have had to endure. This person was only focused on their wants without a care for anyone else.
Without getting into much detail about the situation, I was protecting something of value that would have gotten damaged to the point of costing thousands of dollars to repair as well as fixing some other components on that piece of equipment that were already broken. The person was supposed to assist as well and instead of helping, they showed up after everything was done and sailed off without a thank you. I have since had to make the decision to not help this person in the future. It is not something that I am happy about, but I have had to make that decision.
By being selfish we can quickly turn relationships sour. In sales or leadership if this happens, we really start losing influence. In sales and Leadership influence is the key ingredient to success. Without trust there is no influence. Leverage is a term of is a term often people use as an influencing tool of holding something over someone so that they will do what we want, but once leverage is gone these people will revolt! Ever here about Julius Cesar? His good friend stabbed him in the back. Now typically an actual stabbing does not happen in business, but there have been stories in business where boards have thrown the CEO out of the organization overnight. When we do not have trust, people will be less willing to give us the benefit of the doubt and promote us to customer. Even Steve Jobs was asked to step down at one point at Apple.
I am constantly taking inventory in my life to gauge how selfish I am being. I’m sure I fail to live up to my standard, but my focus is on not being selfish. Instead my focus is on trying to help everyone that I can. I put my expertise out there to help others gain knowledge. I do not do it so I can say that I have done it, but to share so that people can avoid mistakes that I have run into in the past. My goal is to help you become more efficient and successful especially with areas of sales and influence.
The key is to really take an inventory of our relationships and see if there are any areas where we are being a little selfish. Are there some relationships that we need to apologize for selfishness? Have we made any recent mistakes that an apology will help start the road back to building trust? Selfishness can be fixed when we take an honest look at how we have behaving with others.
So here it is the full Trust Equation.
Have a great weekend!
Sincerely,
Kevin Sidebottom
“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business. I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”